People seem to enjoy movies. People also seem to enjoy lists. I’ve noticed that when I combine the two, the result is usually pretty good for me. So this time, I’ve decided to weigh in on my 100 worst movies of all time. This list should not be considered exhaustive. There are hundreds of terrible movies I either haven’t seen or simply don’t know about and I invite you to tell me about them in the comment. These movies are simply the worst movies I’ve ever seen or that I’ve had the pleasure of viewing on Mystery Science Theater 3000. “Battlefield Earth” is #1 for obvious reasons concerning both taste and morality. I didn’t pull any cheap shots like placing all of Uwe Boll’s films individually on the list, nor did I do the same with Nicolas Cage’s recent repertoire.
Keep in mind that the order here is very loose. In fact, right up to “Twilight”, I’d say we have a 48-way TIE for worst movie of all time. And “Suckerpunch”, for example, while definitely not a worse movie than, say, “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” did piss me off enough to be dropped in my Top 10. So these are not rankings so much as the 100 movies I hate the most.
Now, without further adieu, here are the 100 worst movies of all time according to Sean. Enjoy and, once again, let me know which terrible movies would make your list in the comments section.
Sean’s 100 Worst Movies of All Time
Battlefield Earth (2000)- Uwe Boll’s Entire Catalogue (1992-Present)
- Batman & Robin (1997) – Just how bad was this movie? It was so awful that it couldn’t even impress 11-year-old Sean. Do you realize what kind of taste I had at that age? In 1991, I would have picked “The DuckTales Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp” to win The Academy Award for Best Picture.
- Glitter (2001)
- The “Genre” Movie Series (Scary, Epic, Disaster, Dance, Etc.)
- Transformers 2 (2009)
- Every Movie Featuring Nicolas Cage in a Starring Role Since 2005’s “Lord of War”, with the exception of “Bad Lieutenant 2: Port of Call – New Orleans”
- Mac & Me (1988)
- Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Suckerpunch (2011)- Norbit (2007)
- The “Saw” Series (2004-Present)
- The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)
- AVP: Requiem (2007)
- Cursed (2004)
- The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)
- Steel (1997)
- Troll 2 (1990)
- Plan 9 from Outer Space (1956)
- Generation X (1996)
- The Happening (2008)
- Son of the Mask (2005)
- Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders (1996)
- Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)
- The Fly 2 (1989)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)- House of Wax (2005)
- From Justin to Kelly (2003)
- The Creeping Terror (1964)
- Jack Frost (1998)
- The Wild World of Batwoman (1966)
- The Guyver (1991)
- Gigli (2003)
- Chairman of the Board (1998)
- Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966) – Mystery Science Theater 3000!
- Baby Geniuses (1999)
- 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain (1998)
- Transformers 3 (2011)
- Master of Disguise (2002)
- Hobgoblins (1988)
The Hottie & The Nottie (2008)- Green Lantern (2011)
- Soultaker (1990)
- Rollerball (2002)
- Swept Away (2002)
- Dead Space: Aftermath (2011)
- Taxi (2004)
- Cats & Dogs (2001)
- Twilight (2008)
- Prometheus (2012) – I believe enough has been said about “Prometheus” at this point. If these were The Dark Ages, minstrels would write songs about my disdain for this movie.
- Catwoman (2004)
- Deck the Halls (2006)
- The Fourth Kind (2009)
Watchers (1988)- Any Tyler Perry “Madea” Film
- White Chicks (2004)
- The Avengers (1998)
- The Haunting (1999)
- Clash of the Titans (2010)
- Freddie Got Fingered (2001)
- Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace (1999)
- Heaven’s Gate (1980)
- Hammerhead (2005)
- Zardoz (1974)
- Wolf (1994)
- Crossroads (2002)
- Immortel (2004)
- Battle: Los Angeles (2011)
Inchon (1982)- Howard the Duck (1986)
- Van Helsing (2004)
- Exorcist – The Beginning (2004)
- X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
- Jack (1996)
- Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (2003)
- Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003)
- Volcano (1997)
- Dead Silence (2006)
- Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
- Aeon Flux (2005)
- Made of Honor (2008)
- I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)
- Dreamcatcher (2003)
- Godzilla (1998)
- Demolition Man (1993)
Elektra (2005)- Anaconda (1997)
- Terminator: Salvation (2009)
- Never Let Me Go (2010)
- The Book of Eli (2010)
- The Last Airbender (2010)
- The Day The Earth Stood Still (2008)
- Pathfinder (2007)
- End of Days (1999)
- The Limits of Control (2009)
- Save the Last Dance (2001)
- Alien Resurrection (1997)
- Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1994)
- Drag Me to Hell (2009) – I’m going to catch some flak for this one, so let me state my case. It would be one thing if “Drag Me to Hell” were just stupid, racist horror (yes, it’s racist), but it’s the fact that the movie tries to pass itself off as clever. What bothered me most about “DMTH”, though, is how unrepentantly mean-spirited the movie is.
-
It’s not a good sign when your poster is exactly 500 times more awesome than your movie.
Pandorum (2009)
Your list seems pretty inclusive, but I didn’t see Andy Warhol’s Frankenstein in 3-D. (Brain bleach, please.)
I’ve never heard of that! That sounds amazing! That’s why making a “Worst” list is even more difficult than making a “Best” list, in my opinion. Most people know about really great films, but some truly incredibly terrible films fall to the wayside.
Kudos! You did a masterful job and even managed to expose that god-awful 800 pound piece of alien turd “Prometheus” which should probably go to the top of the list. Congratulations! A yeoman’s effort and remarkably flawless.
I couldn’t even sit through Queen of the Damned. Also, movies starring Rob Schneider seem to be pretty awful. The Animal was painful to watch. And in the bad horror category is Silent Night Deadly Night II, which is actually entertaining because of how bad it is.
To be fair, Duck Tales was a pretty brilliant movie. So comparing it to Batman and Robin seems slightly unfair.
Thanks for reminding me that Freddy Got Fingered is an actual thing. Now all I can hear is, “DADDY WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SAUSAGES?”
So, The Happening should be approximately 20 spots higher. Also, for entertainment sake, Capote was unbearable. I would literally rather watch paint dry, even if Hoffman is amazing in it. You also left out Pearl Harbor…haha. Anyway, I can’t really disagree with anything on the list. I have not seen all of them, but the ones I have are disappointing to say the least. Of course, there are intentionally terrible movies which could be added, but these weren’t meant to be “bad” and ended up that way.
I don’t know if I’m surprised or horrified that the single worst movie, bar none, of all time is not in your list. Or impressed you haven’t seen it. I refer of course to the abortion smeared on celluloid that is Streetfighter (the Van Damme/Kylie Minogue travesty) To make matters worse it was one of the last films, if not the last film, Raul Julia made before his death.
I have to agree with your number one worst movie. I was unfortunately held hostage on a 6 hour bus trip where the driver kept playing that “film” over and over again and top volume. I’ve never been able to watch John Travolta or his wife since.
I’d have to strongly disagree with you on two of those. I thoroughly enjoy the Madea movies..and White Chicks is a classic. But I’ve never seen most of the others, so I’ll try to steer clear of them.
Great list, Sean. I’ll still watch Terminator: Salvation, though, if only because Christian Bale makes an incredibly hot grown-up John Connor.
I think that you may have mixed up a couple of your bests in this list.
I mean, what’s not to love about a movie where the evil villain masterminds are the trees?
Also, how can you not enjoy a movie where it takes five benders and a 20 minute taichi sequence to move one rock? (After, that is, those same benders are somehow held prisoner while surrounded by earth.)
Sad thing is, I have seen many of these movies.
Solid list. I would have included ‘Ishtar’ (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ishtar_(film)). But that’s just me.
Hi. I agree. Drag Me to Hell was just puking, repeatedly.
you’ve left off: Modern Problems, Eye of the Beholder, Melancholia
No “Showgirls”?! A movie so bad I got bored watching it in fast-forward and walked away at the pool scene? Hideously bad movie, from acting that needed Olivier/Streep-level boosts to achieve “wooden,” a plot with more holes than a bombed-out sieve factory and directing so putrid I swear it makes Michael Bay seem positively Htchcockian. (Okay, maybe not, but you catch my drift.)
I’ve never seen “Showgirls”!! But it does pop up on all the lists. It’s an honorary selection, though. Definitely should be on there.
I have to say Waterworld usually tops any list of horrible movies that I compile. I’m embarrassed to say that I really enjoyed White Chicks.
Do you have a best list? Would love to know your’s. Your worst list seems pretty solid. Although if you had watched White Chicks with my sister you would be a fan, I know that is saying A LOT but you don’t know my sister
Take two..my last attempt is MIA… Do you have a best list? Would love to know. Your worst list seems solid, although if you had seen White Chicks with my sister you would be a fan. I know that is saying A LOT (repeat a lot a few more times) but you don’t know my sister, lol.
Since I don’t see it on this list, I’m assuming you’ve never seen Night of the Lepus.
This is so funny. There are 7 people in my family, and we each like a different film on your “worst” list. Except for my husband. He pretty much agrees with you.
I skimmed a bit, but if there are no Ashton Kutcher movies on that list, at least one should be added on basic principle. Otherwise, bravo!
OMG, you didn’t like “Killers”? Ha! I think the best way to handle that is to possibly do a follow-up list that would just include the entire filmography of various actors. Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Heigl (except “Knocked Up”), Kate Hudson, Jamie Kennedy, Dane Cook, Dax Shephard, Chris Klein, Hayden Christensen, etc.
I’m happy The Last Air Bender made the list. It’s a shame you lumped all of the SAW films together. The first three are fantastic horror films.
Prometheus? Check. But Alien 3, Star Trek Generations, Superman 3 and 4 and few others seem to be missing.
I should have made the list 500 deep to make everyone happy. I’ve yet to disagree with a single suggestion others have made. 100 just isn’t enough. However, the director’s cut of “Alien 3″ at least salvages that movie somewhat. It’s far from perfect, but it’s also much more evident what Fincher was trying to do. Also, Tywin Lannister is in “Alien 3″. If you’re a Game of Thrones fan, that has to give it like one more star.
Alien 3′s greatest sin isn’t being a irredeemably bad movie. Its more the way it destroyed the events and characters of Aliens, making that very great movie kind of pointless. Alien 3 is kind of like beginning Return of the Jedi with Jabba eating Han.
Wow, I wasn’t expecting Sucker Punch to be so high on the list. Was it really that bad? (Wait, what am I saying? I couldn’t even sit through the whole movie.)
I personally consider the Percy Jackson movie to be the worst thing I’ve ever seen, followed (distantly) by the 2011 version of The Thing. The latter is the kind of movie that not only betrays fans of the original, but movie-goers and humanity in general. The former? The former is nothing short of an affront to the senses.
…I suddenly have a headache.