How do I know I’ve watched too much of The Olympics? Because I now know what dressage is.
Writing entries for this blog has been almost impossible this week. It’s bad enough that my motivation is lacking from a combination of heat and too much work, but The Olympics are on!!! How am I supposed to focus on this when Olympic skeet shooting is on TV, followed by table tennis, and dressage? I think I’ve watched more of The Olympics this year than I ever have before. I’ve watched about a dozen soccer games, hours of gymnastics (my fiancée doesn’t give me a choice), swimming, archery, water polo. I think I’ve seen a little of every event except for those in track & field, but I’m not sure those have started yet. I also haven’t gotten to watch the Men’s Basketball Team play yet because of stupid NBC, which is kind of irritating me.
But enough about the games. I’m also finding it really hard to focus on the blog because I’ve begun editing The Last Cup. I love the editing process and I usually get completely caught up in it. Sometimes it only takes me a couple of days to get through the book the first time. Each round of editing usually takes longer than the one before it. I think The Last Cup is my most mainstream work to date, with memorable characters and a blockbuster ending, but I’m in that jaded stage of the book where I start to question just how good it really is. I’m in dire need of a fresh pair of eyes to read it and tell me their thoughts, and I should have that by next week or the week after. Regardless of the more critical opinions of the book, I believe I’ve written the War & Peace of soccer-themed dystopian literature.
The theme of today’s post is the 10 Probably Pointless Things I Do to Help Me Write. That title is sort of tongue in cheek, of course. Why? Because anything you do that helps you write is not pointless. What I’m trying to get people to do, however, is to consider the peculiar or eccentric activities that make up our writing process. What makes you feel ready to write? What gets your fingers typing? Some of my Top 10 will probably sound fairly outrageous to you. Some of them might sound startlingly close to something that you do. That’s great! If you do something completely bizarre to help get the juices going, let me know! I love to steal stuff from people J
So here’s my Top 10:
1. Grow a Beard – Call me crazy, but sometimes I scale back on my shaving big time during the editing process. I find that I am more critical as an editor when I have a scratchy beard pestering me. It feels like Ernest Hemingway has me in a sleeper hold, and he won’t let go unless I cut more out of my book. Obviously my female readers are going to have some trouble with this strategy. My secondary recommendation? Um, maybe pass on shaving the armpits. Your call! A hairy writer is a happy writer.
2. Browse “Weird News” on the Internet – Sometimes I also like to scan the Internet for bizarre articles from around the web just to get my imagination going. MSNBC used to have a “Weird News” section pretty far down their page. Usually these articles are good for a laugh going into your writing. I also enjoy looking up really awesome science articles, like stuff about the Hadron Collider or Super Earths located hundreds of light years away. If it gets the geek in me going, it’s probably good for my writing.
3. Eat Applesauce – Go figure. I’ve eaten a whole half-gallon jar of applesauce before while writing a chapter. I’m not sure it actually helps me write, but it’s delicious. For you romance writers, maybe you should consider keeping it saucy.
What they don’t know, can’t hurt you.
4. Eavesdrop on People – Whenever I bring this up, I feel obligated to reinforce that you should never be obvious when you are doing this. Nor should you focus heavily on what is being said. I like to eavesdrop on people more to hear how it is being said. Eavesdropping helps me pick up on minute nuances of language, including turns of phrase, dialect, rhythm, etc. Having a solid grasp of the elasticity of language is a wonderful tool for penning dialogue and, personally, the more outlandish the better. I love listening to people speak who I’m not even immediately positive are speaking English.
5. Drink a Beer – Having a beer or a glass of wine, I find, helps settle the mind, calm the body, and lower just enough inhibition. I don’t recommend overdoing it, though, because you still want what you write to be coherent. I also don’t recommend combining copious amounts of this with #3 and #1. If you do that, we might have the first indication of a serious problem.
6. Stretch/Take a Hot Bath/Exercise – I have long been a fan of stretching before you write. As with any job or task, why go in tense when you could go in relaxed and limber. A hot bath might be a more enticing and soothing option for some of you. Exercise, especially jogging, has the double advantage of keeping you and shape and putting you in a sound state of mind, while ALSO giving you a nice 45 minutes to an hour to just contemplate your plot, characters, dialogue, etc. Keep a notepad handy while you’re on the treadmill; there’s no harm in it. I just hope you can read the sweat-stained scribbles.
180 degrees’ orientation is the only thing separating a Snuggie from a Jedi robe.
7. Wear a Snuggie™ – What have you to lose? I wear a Snuggie™ and I feel like Gandalf when I write. Especially when it’s late at night, something about wearing a blanket with sleeves puts me in the zone.
8. Write While Standing Up – From time to time, I do get a little antsy and sitting in a chair writing just feels like Hell to me. Don’t be afraid to stand up and move about the room to gather your thoughts. Sometimes you just need to get the blood moving again and you might be surprised how much more spry your mind is while you’re on your feet. I like to pace the living room floor and when I have a good thought, I just pop my computer to type it out.
9. Try Writing Outside – This is kind of an extension of #8. Sometimes standing up isn’t enough; you actually need a complete change of scenery. When I’m outside, my rule is “No Laptops”, but don’t feel beholden to that rule. It only originated from the fact that I have a terrible time reading my computer outside because of the glare. However, I have rediscovered the joys of writing stuff out by hand and doing this outside… I don’t know, it just makes me feel so much closer to the long legacy of literature over the centuries. Chaucer and Cervantes never used a Mac.
Close enough, right?
10. Perform a Rain Dance – Obviously I’m joking at this point, but if I could prove that doing a crazy aboriginal dance would make the words come pouring down, I would adopt this in a heartbeat. I call dibs on “Toxic” by Britney Spears. That’s my writing rain dance song. Thinking about using it? Get your own! Pro Tip: Whatever you do, do not combine this recommendation with #1, #3, #5, #7, and #9. Now you just look like a crazy person and the second anyone sees you, you can probably expect a visit from the police. “Yes, Officer. The bearded man/unshaved woman is now dancing in the middle of the park wearing what appears to be a cheetah-print Snuggie™ eating applesauce out of a jar while downing a Colt 45.” Officer: “Don’t worry, Ma’am. It’s probably just a writer.”
Be careful out there, fellow indie authors!
I drive the back roads around my house. It helps to live in a rural area. Something about driving narrow roads through rolling hills dotted with farms and abandoned houses or lined with trees just stirs my creative juices.
Oooohh great one! I’ve become somewhat jaded living in a city, but whenever I’m around Bagdad, Kentucky (my hometown), I definitely love walking, jogging, and driving. Cities don’t tell stories the way rural areas do, in my opinion. I love being out in the country. Great suggestion!
I do this too! With the music cranked up.
Thanks for sharing the method to your madness. I’ve been writing a post and ironically (for research purpose of course) I have spent a lot of time watching youtube snip-its of Full House and listening to a lot of Beach Boys’ tunes.
I love Full House! And I think every writer needs a sort of default music choice to help get the writing going. It’s kind of like Pavlov’s bell. I listen to U2 so much when I write, that now all I have to do is hear the intro to “Sunday Bloody Sunday” and my fingers start getting itchy.
One of my biggest motivations for writing is escaping the utter c**p my wife persists in watching on TV. Nearly one hundred channels and all she wants is rubbish. I think she does it purpose to get rid of me.
Absolutely LOVE this post, Sean. As a full-time writer/editor, I too need different (sometimes weird) sources of inspiration. Weird things include 1) Listening to electronic music without words [lets me fill in the gap], 2) Constantly scratching my beard [similar to your #1], 3) Creeping on people’s Facebook timelines [the best stories are inspired by real people], 4) Learning from seasoned writers [http://www.advicetowriters.com/], 5) Picking up a book and fan through the pages [motivates me to get to the point where I'll be able to physically hold my upcoming book in my own hands].
When all else fails, I turn on some hip hop and imagine myself leading an epic dance battle with the cast of Step Up.
When I write by hand, I use graph paper. I don’t know why, but I feel less hemmed in than I do with regular lined paper, like I have permission to write anywhere on the page and in any size. But then I also have the graph lines there to keep my writing straight.
Thanks for sharing Sean. Number 8 is my favourite. Not only do I sometimes write while standing, but I walk around in slow circles to gather my thoughts! I thought it was weird until I read your post.
The things we writers do!
Daisy
I love writing outside. I can usually only do this on Saturday mornings before everyone else gets up though. As an extension, I sometimes go to the local coffee shop to write. It’s a great opportunity for ‘people watching’ and changing the routine.
I like to take a lot of pictures too. I find sometimes that having a picturesque scene to look at is enough to get my writing itch going.
Thanks for teh chuckle about the Jedi robe!!
WOW! I do a lot of these things (except for the hairy thing) and I REALLY need to try the “rain” dance. This was a fun read! Thanks so much for sharing
You’re welcome! Thanks for commenting
Love the article!
I listen to women’s songs a lot while I write..the same ones over and over again..it drives the guys in my family (3 of them) mad I’m sure but they know it’s inevitable for the writing process. When I hear a song I love I dance like a crazy person around the room (when no one is is the room of course!)
I love to take my Mac outside to write in the gazebo, I write better when surrounded by nature and the lovely twitter of birds. If there is rain or it’s a cold day I sit with the Mac on my lap with feet up on the couch and write for hours. Everyone leaves me alone even though I am sitting in the living room in the middle of all the action – they recognize when I’m in my own little world.
I like to sit on Tower Hill and look at the Tower of London while I write (I live in London, UK). The comments of the tourists inspire me, even the grumpy ones.The countryside is beautiful but I don’t need it to write, necessarily. Great post, thanks.
sshh dont tell anyone i said this but snuggies are very comfortable lol
So I Emailed this article around to my friends because I thought it was funny and because I do a few of the things to keep myself on track: Stretching and hot baths for example and eating applesauce…It turns out that while stretching was a revelation to my friends we all share in common an unexplained need for Applesauce in the midst of our writing! I’ve just put a bow on a jar to take to my friend Laura’s job, (her uncle owns the joint). I am never without my jar of applesauce in the fridge (Trader Joe’s Gravenstein First Crush) and recommend it highly as a worthwhile avoidance sure to return the fidgety writer back to his or her keyboard. My Snuggie’s off to you Sean for yet another worthwhile read! JTaylor, Yaroos.com
This was a fun post. Sometimes I like to go on pinterest and get inspirational pictures before I write.
Maribeth
Love it! I was browsing news stories at work one day and found one that I turned into my first novella. I’m a complete advocate of using current events to fuel your creative writing process!
My favorite – sword kata, kind of like #6, definitely not to be combined with #5 (cos you could lose a hand – not to mention the poor police response to drinkers waving 3′ of sharp steel!)
I’ve never owned a Snuggie… but I do have a Jedi robe… so win/win.
I wish there was a like button for comments too! LOL
Reblogged this on Anakalian Whims and commented:
I’m a big fan of stretching as well, and *not joking* I’ve totally done a rain dance because I was so mad at one of my characters for being elusive. Possibly wasn’t a rain dance and more of a spaz out on the deck, but it rained afterward so there ya go.
One of my favorite tricks… eat alphabet soup. Makes me feel like I’m filling myself up with more words.
This has always made me wonder, do other non-Latin languages have alphabet soup? I would imagine that a Chinese alphabet soup could get pretty crazy and VERY intricate.
My favorite “Wear a Snuggie”
I pull out an unread copy (kindle) of Shades of Grey and my paperback, highlighted , red covered ,dog eared ,cat chewed ,coffee stained 40 year old copy of my beloved Catcher in the Rye and wonder where the f….our writing publishing world. Then I blast Led Zep and write…..
If nothing else, I’ll grab my pen and notebook when I’m watching a TV show and just start writing phrases or even individual words and see where it goes. Admittedly, I do end up in some useless cul de sacs, but there is still something awesome about filling seven pages with utter nonsense.
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When I get stuck in plot development, I’ll #8 and talk the problem out. I end up having these great bilingual discussions with myself that, while not quite worthy of a police visit, may raise an eyebrow or two.
Re #2: one of my favourites. Browsing the Internet for weird news (nouvelles insolites) led to my short story “À l’air”.