By now the secret must surely be out that, while I absolutely loved looking at “Prometheus”, I absolutely hated it from a narrative perspective. It was kind of like being exposed to the ebola virus at the Playboy Mansion. As I’ve said before, I don’t think a movie has ever worked harder to insult an audience’s intelligence. People have fallen in love with the big ideas of “Prometheus”, namely its creative take on the origin of man and the possibility that alien life forms could have sowed the seeds of life on Earth—a scenario so utterly groundbreaking and original that H.P. Lovecraft wrote a whole book about it in 1931 (“At the Mountains of Madness”) and Stanley Kubrick did a movie on it in 1968 (if you don’t know which movie I’m talking about, just go ahead and stop reading this right now). Yeah, “Prometheus” was a visual feast for the ideas, but I have never gotten so progressively more pissed off in the days following a movie as I have contemplating the asinine decisions and motivations of characters in that movie.
I think what pisses me off more than anything about “Prometheus” is that if it were a book that I had written, I would never be able to sell it to an agent. They would say the first half drags too much, the ideas are too unoriginal, the characters too cardboard, the dialogue is too corny, and the ending is too unsatisfying and open-ended. “Prometheus” is all of those things. Instead, though, it’s a multi-million-dollar blockbuster that some folks are praising as a masterpiece and I’m still trying to sell my first novel! Okay, I’m a little bitter; I’ll admit it. Nevertheless, “Prometheus” is a veritable master class in how not to write and how not to tell a story and I thought I’d weigh in on that pejorative statement.
“PROMETHEUS” SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
1. Having More Characters Does Not Always Make a Story Better – One of the first reviews I read for “Prometheus” promised me nightmares. The only nightmare from “Prometheus” that has stuck with me, however, is its atrocious character development. Now, nobody throws more characters into his books than George R. R. Martin. There are more people in the Game of Thrones saga than live in Kentucky (okay, okay…not that many, but it’s CLOSE), but it works because every person in Martin’s saga fits perfectly into his universe. Every person builds upon the story or adds to it in some minute way that is always brilliantly executed. Also it’s fantasy and your book doesn’t even qualify if you don’t have like at least 300 characters.
What made “Alien” so great is that, with only seven or eight characters, we knew just enough about each one of them. What so many people forget is that Ripley was not the clear heroine of that film—she was only the survivor. That was an interesting approach by Ridley Scott and it made that story more engaging because the monster was so (literally) alien and horrific and the audience had no clue of knowing who would come out alive. Books tend to need a little bit more of an anchor, but if there is one thing we can learn from “Game of Thrones” it’s that even books don’t need protagonists so long as all the characters are fascinating and well-constructed.
2. Sane Characters Must Behave Rationally – Nothing annoyed me more about “Prometheus” than the Horror B-Movie motivations and decisions of its characters. If you are writing fiction, characters simply cannot do things only because it forwards the plot. No, the plot must move forward as a consequence of characters making rational decisions. Some writers sweep this rule under a rug and are forgiven because whatever is happening is just that good. Other (and better) writers will subtly dodge this rule from time to time, but mostly adhere to it. Then you have “Prometheus”, which basically said “rationality? WTF is rationality?”
Mohawk Dude from “Prometheus” making…space Ramen, or something.
One of the most glaring examples of this rule to be found in “Prometheus” involves two characters that all haters of that movie now know well: The Mohawked geologist and his wily biologist sidekick. During “Prometheus” when the group of explorers is working its way deep into an ancient alien ruin, these two characters make the rational decision to become extremely frightened of the unknown and decide they would feel safer in the ship. Logical decision! However, the two immediately become lost (despite the fact that one of them was in charge of mapping the damn place) and end up wandering around the ruins and becoming progressively more freaked out. In truth, they have no purpose but to tell us, the audience, how scary the place is because the visuals don’t do it justice after 35 years of watching “Alien”. Later on, the two characters happen back upon the very room they were initially too afraid to go inside and what do they do? They go barging into the room without a care in the world and start poking alien snakes in the damn eyeball.
Yeah, that doesn’t end well for them.
The point, though, is that your characters have to be consistent. A “cowardly character” cannot just suddenly be overcome by a stirring bout of courage unless something else has happened first. For example, maybe that character just had some great spiritual awakening—maybe something utterly cathartic that liberated said character from the shackles of cowardice and now that character can finally be brave! If it doesn’t happen on the page, though, it NEVER happened. Why not, you ask?
3. The Audience Needs SOME Context – Because the reader has no context. If a character is cripplingly cowardly, we need some indication as to why he or she is that way. Is your character afraid of entering ancient alien ruins that look utterly creepy and deathly? Okay, that doesn’t need much context. But does your character decide “Well, maybe it’s not so bad” only ten minutes later? The audience/reader needs some indication as to why the character abruptly feels exactly the opposite as he or she did earlier.
In the future, androids were evidently created for the sole purpose of enduring our passive aggressive barbs.
“Prometheus” is full of characters who behave in strange ways that are never explained to the audience. You have Charlie—everyone’s whipping boy, it seems—who wakes up one morning and decides to be a raving d-bag to the ship’s resident android and the audience is never given a reason why. Was he molested by a Furby as a child? We’ll never know. The only thing we do know is that this guy hates a charming and debonair robot modeled after Michael Fassbender and the writer, Damon Lindelof, tells us to just blindly accept it, despite the fact that I, personally, would be doing everything in my power to make sure that I DON’T piss off the soulless android who basically looks after me while I’m asleep.
Furthermore, that mohawked dude I mentioned earlier shows back up after basically being killed and he has clearly been exposed to some sort of pathogen or substance that is not good for humans. What does it do to him, though? It clearly gives him superhuman-like powers and enables him to go on a horrible killing spree that decimates half of the unnecessary characters wandering around the ship. Pro-Tip: If your book requires spontaneous “cleaning” wherein one character abruptly murders exactly half of all the other characters and you never feel the need to explain how or why that just happened, throw away your manuscript and start from scratch, but this time, do not include those characters and do not include anything building up to that scene. It’s a ludicrous and offensive moment that will only piss off all your readers.
I’m living proof of that.
Qui Gon Jinn: “And once I’ve destroyed The Force, I’ll let you get back to destroying this franchise, Anakin.”
4. The Author Must Choose What to Explain and HOW to Explain It – Another beautiful thing about science fiction is when authors don’t overexplain—in other words, when a writer doesn’t explain his way well past the fiction. Remember how awesome The Force was in the first “Star Wars” movies? Then remember how much The Force blew when George Lucas had Liam Neeson make up some bulls*** about midochlorians or something being responsible for it? Wasn’t The Force so much cooler when we didn’t have an explanation for it? Well, the same can probably be said for the iconic xenomorph from the Alien franchise. At the end of the day, I think we’ll all be able to say that “Alien” was cooler before “Prometheus” came along and explained who or what the “Space Jockey”/”Engineer” was.
In my upcoming sci-fi book, I’m telling a story about the future of The World Cup in a post-apocalyptic world that is radically different from our own. But I will NOT tell the audience much about how the world got to that point. I won’t describe the exact nature of the apocalypse except for what the reader needs to know, because my novel is not about the set up, but about what came afterwards. I’m only looking to establish my world, without explaining every little detail of its origin. I only plan to give the reader exactly what he or she needs to know to accept the world I’ve created and to enjoy my story.
In “Prometheus”’s defense, the movie is not terrible on this front. What I love about the early scenes on the ship is that everything is instantly identifiable…but somewhat different, or “futurized”, and that works.
5. Today’s Readers Know When Something is Tacked On (Sometimes) – Maybe it’s just me and a reflection of my evolution as a writer, but I believe people are smarter today when it comes to plot and what makes good television/films/books. Every time I go to a movie these days—even those I enjoy—it seems like it’s never ten minutes before my friends and I start picking apart “Prometheus” or “The Avengers” or “Leap Year” with Amy Adams. I just don’t think it’s as easy to slip cheap gimmicks and plot holes past readers as it used to be.
You have 30 seconds…find the plot hole. No, for the tenth time, that’s Taylor Lautner’s navel.
…Unless “Twilight” has tons of plot holes. Does it? I’ve never read the books, but those things have made TONS of money.
“Prometheus” has the gall to end on a veritable mountain of plot holes. Yeah, I’m going to talk about the ending, but you were warned about spoilers way back so the joke’s on you. At the end, the main character Elizabeth Shaw, decides to hijack a ship and head for the home world of the very alien race that just did everything in its power to murder her and everyone she ever knew. And who does she get to take her there? The untrustworthy android who was directly responsible for murdering her boyfriend. It would be like my girlfriend and I walking down a street in Lexington, Kentucky and having a gang member pop out who murders her and beats me within an inch of my life. Then, what do I do? I decide to march right down there to his gang hideout and have a word with him and find out WHY he destroyed my life, obviously! I mean, I’m sure the whole thing was just a big misunderstanding!
To those of you who have never seen “Prometheus”, I swear that THAT story got made into a movie. I don’t care what kind of book you’re writing, I guarantee you it’s better than “Prometheus”. I guarantee you the story is better, the characters are richer, and the plot points make more sense. It’s insane. So many of us indie writers can’t get published, but Hollywood is willing to pour millions into a quasi-prequel that is that unforgivably awful.
In other words, keep writing. If Damon Lindelof can find success, YOU can find success. My name is Sean Chandler and I believe in you.
I’m loving your blog! I’ve been reading it as I write my first novel.
This entry was so funny.
Thank you so much! Sometimes I aim for funny and I never have any idea if the jokes are falling. I wonder if I’m scaring more people away than I’m attracting. Thanks so much for the post!
This was a great post. I had to be shushed in the theater when those two dufuses got lost in the tunnels. Also when the dufus was left like an infected pretzel outside the ship and the opened the door so he could kill half the crew. Oh and again when Ole Liz just had to go find out why the aliens tried to kill her and everyone else. Stupid asa movie…
No doubt!
My sons and I picked apart Promethius scene by scene. Yes, it was a visual feast for the eyes (we saw it in 3D) it had so many holes in the plot, what was the actual storyline? The characters that were weak, we picked which characters were going to die first (we all picked Mowhawk guy and his sidekick), too much explaining (i.e. the Force). It would have been better as a comedy or farce.
Though I have yet to watch this film, I know I will have a hard time not picking this apart. Great post Sean.
A
Thank you so much
Nice post! Glad you took time to point out how pointlessly dumb Mohawk and Bioguy were, especially after Mohawk was the sane one of the group. Even him getting high doesn’t justify his behavior, and the biologist had no excuse whatsoever for poking that snake. I think the only thing you left out was everyone taking off their helmets
I disagree with you on the ending, though. It’s fairly clear why Shaw trusts David at the end: her only other choice is to die on an alien world from lack of oxygen (which, granted, is another issue the movie glosses over, along with food and water). As for going after the Space Jockeys, well, what’s waiting for Shaw on Earth? No family, no career and probably a massive lawsuit by the corporation that sent her out there in the first place, if not murder charges. Going after the Space Jockeys does make some sense in comparison, especially when she’s carrying a ship that’s probably still full of the worst bioweapons they’ve ever made. “Yeah, hi, you mind explaining your genocidal friend? Hurry now, these jars he gave me could open any second…”
Of course the fact that the old man let Shaw live already beggared belief, as did the entire “C-section” sequence. So I guess the ending might just be acceptable to me because I’ve got all of that to compare it to.
You are totally channeling my thoughts right now!!! This movie sucked on so many levels!!
Ha! “Lit Bitch”. I like it. And I would sign a petition to get my money back from “Prometheus”.
I totally want to read a novel about a post-apocalyptic World Cup.
The trailer alone was so boring that I didn’t feel like watching the movie. After 30 seconds of sound, fury, and special effects, I still had no idea what the movie was about. Sounds like a pretty accurate representation after all.
I agree on every level.
What I hated most about this movie was its complete unwillingness to portray scientists as anything other than moronic children stumbling through the dark kicking rocks over to see if any bugs crawl out. People stick their fingers in alien goop just because it’s there, they revivify severed alien heads, they poke and prod and remove their helmets just because “the air is okay”. This was supposed to be a trillion-dollar excursion across the known galaxy but apparently the crew was picked up at random like some press-ganged British merchant vessel circa 1790. When the characters awake from their hypersleep, you realize most of them don’t even know who the rest of the crew is, or why they’re along for the ride. The two archaeologists have to give a five minute brief (which is clearly for the audience, another thing that annoys me). Yeah, space travel is clearly more common in this movie, but c’mon, no one was even told why they are here?
Like I said, I agree with all your points, but the one I agree with most is the stupidity of making characters who are supposed to be brilliant, top-tier experts in their respective fields, into drooling, slack-jawed morons who do stupid things because that’s the only way Bad Stuff can apparently happen.
Last time I qualified something of “an insult to my intelligence”, I got nailed pretty hard. But yeah, PROMETHEUS was an insult to my intelligence. And from far enough, there is no issues with the movie. Sit and watch it, and every micro-management decision is the wrong one. There’s a commander on the ship with an air of authority, but no authority at all. Everybody does what they want on the ship and there are two archeologists with seemingly ZERO prior training in space to call the shots and behave like kids in a sandbox. One of my most laugh-out-loud scenes in the movie is Noomi Rapace, telling off the gun guy because “they’re having a scientific expedition…no weapons.” They’re on a rugged alien planet and they’re not even remotely scared? C’mon.
Oh and did I mention how Ridley Scott could make Noomi ugly? I didn’t know it was possible. Throw in mop hair and disturbing super-close-ups of her cheek bones and you have the impossible done.
Hi there Sean,
In this post-apocalyptic can England make it to the World Cup semi-final at least, please?!
Prometheus has frustrated many people, myself included. I think you’ve been a touch harsh in some areas though. No doubt that the “scientists” do unbelievably unscientific things at times and it’s a big gripe that I had with the movie. But Shaw has no option but to leave with David… as he is on the only who can pilot the ship. Also she has no idea that he was responsible for Holloway’s death.
The actions of Milburn & Fifield in the cave complex – it’s just embarrassing at times.
The movie should have been a masterpiece. It fell short in many areas and I have to conclude that it failed- but it had moments of brilliance.
Benji
That’s a good point about her being unfathomably screwed without David. Keep in mind, though, that with regard to the “harshness”, most of it’s tongue in cheek. I’m trolling a little bit on “Prometheus”. I think I got my expectations waaaayyyy out of hand.
As for England, I make no promises, my friend. Although it is science fiction so anything can happen…
Thanks for the comment!
I am with you Benji!
Shaun check out Benji’s Prometheus analysis articles. Kinda cool.
Shaun you make some valid points though.
Hi there Sean,
In this post-apocalyptic can England make it to the World Cup semi-final at least, please?!
Prometheus has frustrated many people, myself included. I think you\’ve been a touch harsh in some areas though. No doubt that the \”scientists\” do unbelievably unscientific things at times and it\’s a big gripe that I had with the movie. But Shaw has no option but to leave with David… as he is on the only who can pilot the ship. Also she has no idea that he was responsible for Holloway\’s death.
The actions of Milburn & Fifield in the cave complex – it\’s just embarrassing at times.
The movie should have been a masterpiece. It fell short in many areas and I have to conclude that it failed- but it had moments of brilliance.
Benji
oops double post?! x
I also blogged about this bad movie. http://www.barstowproductions.com/RobinMorris/?p=47
Good post! You know I never considered actors in old science fiction movies randomly taking off their helmets because the actors are hard to tell apart with them on, but that makes so much sense, especially given the tendencies of audiences back in those days. I feel kind of stupid now. That’s a really cool observation.
Thanks. That’s also why some space helmets in movies have lights that shine on the face of the person wearing it. A light like that would make the wearer unable to see anything, but an actor, especially a movie star (Sean Connery in Outland, for instance) needs to be seen by the audience.
Thanks Sean! You have validated what I was thinking. I was so disappointed when I left the movie, I thought I must have missed something. The longer I thought about it the more disappointed I got. Like you said, my expectations were sky high. (Unfortunately!) The visuals and effects were great so hari kari wasn’t called for, but crap! It could have been so good. Thanks again, and I look forward to reading your first book! I’ll be watching for it.
Crappy stories hitting it big? I am so jealous and insulted. One review I got said, “this would never play out in real life.” Really? Is that why you read? I thought I wanted to see Prometheus, but maybe I will wait for redbox. Then at least I can just go to sleep.
Well written article. Thanks. I have no idea how I got here. . .
Great post. I wrote one of my own here that you might like, making a couple of the same points: http://bit.ly/MzmWyH e.g. “Like, Charlize Theron is the Really Old Man’s daughter. BORING. It came off way more like ‘Darth Vader Made C-3PO’ than King Lear.”
Thanks for the great rant. You might like the one I wrote here http://bit.ly/MzmWyH. I make a couple of similar points, e.g. “Like, Charlize Theron is the Really Old Man’s daughter. BORING. It came off way more like ‘Darth Vader Made C-3PO’ than King Lear.”
I love scifi and wanted to like this movie but it was terrible not only because of all the things you mentioned but also the scientific inaccuracies. Like who the hell smokes is outer space?
I haven’t seen this movie but strangely enough this post doesn’t make me want to avoid it. I am glad I didn’t pay ten bucks to see it though.
I believe that all literature is driven by characters–every great you can name has a great character somewhere that makes it great, that makes it live past its expiration date. Everything that’s still popular after fifty years has great characters, and in some cases only the antagonist is great, like Heathcliff in “Wuthering Heights.” I don’t care if it’s a movie, a novel or a short story. Character counts!
I think that’s the principle problem with movies today, and to a lesser degree novels. So many movies have terrible characters that engender no interest, and I’ve quit reading several books when I just stop caring what happens to any of the bland or over-the-top or stereotypical or generically anti-heroic characters. I think all of the problems you outline could be solved by making good characters. It’s a constant through all fiction too; doesn’t matter if it’s fantasy or science fiction or a romance, a fake, implausible protagonist or clump of characters will ruin it faster than an awkward world setting or bad science or ridiculous dialog.
I totally agree with your rundown on the plot holes! I love sci-fi but when my friend and I came out of the cinema after seeing this film, we discussed these very same issues. It doesn’t really mesh well with the first three alien movies either, or the first alien – predator film. It’s a shame that they went to the trouble to make this film look visually stunning, hired fabulous actors, and the script writer and the director (whom I usually totally respect), put together a script that really let everything else down. If a film is unsatisfying at the end, well then, what’s the point? PS Great blog!
Don’t forget to add Dark Knight Rises, to the ‘characters jerk the audience around, just to make the plot even more implausible, deplorable, insane, stupid, etc.’
I think I’m too blindly in love with the Batman mythos in general to maybe see your points. I didn’t love “The Dark Knight Rises” but I also didn’t hate it. I just kind of left with an entertained shrug. What are your specific points? I already trashed on Bane in my review of The Dark Knight Rises and the movie definitely had some serious pacing, character development issues. Anything to add? I’m curious now.
Yeah, most people seeing the films of late are GO! That’s fine. I like them too, having the luxury of Adam West, Burt Ward, etc on my TV growing up.
And perhaps this goes on a Batman site. Good stuff besides, because there were a lot of things I enjoyed, there were too many story cheat things to accept wholly.
The about face with Cotillard’s character. NO. Don’t buy. How did Bain get out of prison then if all a sudden the kid who escaped was the girl? And Batman did it in what seemed a week after falling with the rope waist busting gut/ribcage repeatedly, and this after speedy broken back rehab. NO. Don’t buy. And what the fuck TOM CONTI? Still alive? Hanging out in the baddest badassed prison in the Sinai Peninsula or something? To translate the blather of some ‘batty’ doctor, who later needs no translator? NO. Wrong. Don’t buy it.
How did Bain get out of prison then if all a sudden the kid who escaped was the girl? I can’t explain everything but this one I know. After Talia found her father, Rha’s al Ghul (sp?) he is shown going down into the prison and finding Bane.
During the middle of DKR when Bane was talking about a people’s revolution and all that I wondered if we were supposed to think that any talk of changing the system in the US, which severely needs changing, is bad because Bane the baddy said it.
I loved “The Dark Knight Rises”! According to the television footage Bruce Wayne was watching in the film, he was inside the prison for over 82 days, not just a week. None of the Batman films are “documentaries” and are a mix of legend, twists on reality, and fiction. It is like being upset that “The Avengers” film characters didn’t convey enough depth and realism. If you see the film with an open mind, “The Dark Knight Rises” is an incredible cinematic experience.